and the award for worst communication goes to....

it's been almost a month since I have posted i've just been so busy with teaching....oh wait that's not true. HA.

It's May finally and as it turns out I may only have 5 more art classes in the year, not that anyone but the students have bothered to tell me. I seem to be left out of everything at this school, but at this point as long as I get paid every two weeks it's okay. Technically there are three weeks left, but with the school camping trip and finals thrown in there I don't have but 5 days left I believe. Kind of cool. I may have to supervise or something like that for the finals but I don't really care. No planning needed, no kids to force art upon and I'll get some reading done. SAweeeeet!

But before all that comes to be there is a breakfast banquet on Wednesday where the students are presented with awards from the teachers....Wednesday, today is Monday remember....well the secratary, not my boss mind you, just informed me of that by asking if I had any awards I wanted to give out!
I'm sorry, what?
Probably would have been something helpful to know more then two days before. I mean really there's not much I have to do for it, but you think there would have been some warning earlier in the year so I could keep my eyes open, or made them work for it. Just a little kooky. And at the moment I don't really know if any of them really deserve awards....and if i give one of them one I'd feel bad because they've all kind of been buttheads. but some of them are good at art. I don't know, these things always make me feel odd.

not sure what I'm going to do on that front. we'll see.

schooooool's not out for summer!

The sun is shinning, this birds are chirping, the heat is rising and I'm still walking into a cold dank building to teach kids who never want to be there! WHAT!? I'm already working on my tan, that can't be right. Virginia is so misleading. I thought the rule was when you can start tanning you shouldn't be in school.....the kids agreed with me on that one (although most of them are black and don't give two hoots about tanning for obvious reasons). I have lost steam in the teaching department, although i think that started about the second week I got there....opps! But I've come to the realization that if I can give these kids a place to come and let out steam, whether or not the are producing the next bond to be a classic piece of art work, I'm doing something good. For the most part these kids are stuck in classes with teachers who don't give them a attention they need, or the stimulation to learn anything new and good. It's really pretty lame.

I look around at the class and for the most part they are happy, or at least content with what they are doing (sometimes it's even art...ish) so I pat myself on the back. They engage in conversations with me, joke, tease (sometimes it's not nice and I have to kick some butts), laugh, yell (I discourage this) and when they get too volatile and nasty or disrespectful I have a chat with them and they generally figure it out and stop (for a few days).

All of this being said, I WANT OUT!!!!!! The secretary and I (she's about 65 and always 'dealing with something') decided that we were going to play hooky and walk on the beach till we couldn't walk anymore, have a seat, and then walk some more. She's funny, and likes me so life is good in that department....it's always a good idea to have the secretary on your side because some day your car might break down, or you sleep in and are 20 min late for class......not that that would ever happen to me!

Soon, soon soon it will be May and that means only one more month of school, and the last month of school will be nothing now that I'm a teacher and can make executive decisions on how little I actually want to do in class. I could pretty much put paper in front of them and say "create a piece of art that represents you as a person" and I could draw that out for as long as I needed! HA! I think I'm getting the hang of being an Art teacher!

back to the grind

Been back at school for almost a week now....well, three days seeing as I didn't actually make it back Monday due to my car breaking a leg. Yes my rear left strut rusted in half and I had to spend the night in a hotel in Maryland. Found some very helpful people who kindly took my Dad's money! Anyway so I tried to call my boss the night before, went to a voicemail where you can't actually leave a message without a code(?), called the school left a message with them. That should be fine right?! Well I found out on Tuesday when I went in for class (early early early because I was supposed to sub for Mom) that the message was not received and they somehow lost a 8 million papers with my number on it. well maybe it was more like 5 million papers. I mean come on people get your shit together. Here are just a few of the places they have my number....my application, my resume (x2), the slip of paper I gave to the secretary 2 weeks before....should I go on or should that be enough for the world?! They weren't actually upset just worried that I was hurt or something ("I said to Jerry, this isn't in her nature to not show up or call. We knew it just wasn't in your nature" -Barbara the sweet secretary), but they didn't know if I was going to show up on Tuesday so they called in a sub for Mom's class.....there goes the extra money I was hoping for (Dad's just going to have to wait a little longer for car payments....you're the best Dad). Oh that also meant 2 extra hours to kill at the school....Oh Joy! Then today I was awake, showered and dressed with so much time to kill. I made some tea, was thinking about making some eggs and then heading off to school.....wait...wait time is it? ...what day is it?? NOT Wednesday! F*#@ IT ALL, I HAVE 5 MINUTES TO GET TO MY CLASS! yup, i did that. My brain is just anywhere but here this week. So I called Barbara again and told her I was on my way in 5. This woman is just so darn sweet "Oh my goodness gracious, well okay, they're with Mr. C and they'll be fine until you get here." I feel like a chicken running round with my head cut off...Mom was so sweet about it all "Welcome to Menopause!" Yeah great, thanks. It's going to go away right?! I mean I'm not even 26 yet. Crapper.

Spring Break

Two weeks of no art class what so ever. Strange you say, because Spring Break doesn't start for another week and it's only one week long?! Well let me explain a lovely little thing called testing!! Yes sir this whole week is taken up by testing and strange Independent Project presentations. Which means that i don't have to deal with making kids make art!! Yippy. all i have to do this week is sit around watching kids take test and then leave. pretty darn easy...although it would have been nice if the school had just said "You know Ms. Remillard, you have done such a SUPER job with these kids thepast few months that we think you deserve 2 weeks off...PAID! have fun and send us a postcard from Vermont" sadly that did not and will not happen this time around. So off i go to sit around and read my Kindle, heck yeah!

Does fabric paint come out of Clothes?!

Had the little guys again today, i love wednesdays, usually. These kids are always so excited to see me and to do some art. Turns out it can be a bit exhausting to deal with 11 little kids all by myself. I found this great activity combining Eric Carle and The Wild Things into a fun collage.

First, the idea of painting something to cut up and create something else seemed to soar right over their heads (there is an art to getting these kids to listen and I am so far from mastering it). Then there is the concept of pouring out paint as you need it and not dumping the entire tube right on your paper (ugh), this was a difficult one. Then, dear well-meaning teacher, there is a wonderful thing called Fabric paint, which you should never give to a bunch of students who are messy and don't listen when you say,
"WAIT, your elbow is painting a picture for your brush!"
Turns out fabric paint, like the label reads, is a great way to decorate fun shirts, jerseys, and your school uniform that your parents toiled over to get it looking presentable for school. Oops...my bad.

And then there are the difficult tasks of putting the artwork someplace out of the way to dry, cleaning up the room, brushes, children, etc. All of this while half the kids are running around the room screaming for, well, purely the joy of exercising the vocal chords (wait, I'm a theater teacher, I should like this right?!? Well I don't think I do). In the middle of all of this maddness their main teacher came in to get them and just stared at the lovely mess that was once a classroom full of students and one frazzled teacher. And as she smiles knowingly she says to me "Yeah, we've only painted once before....they tend to be a bit messy."
OH, really?! ha, you don't say, I never would have guessed. They seem so calm and put together normally. Thanks for the update, now you can have them back! *smile*

Needless to say when my high schoolers came in half a minute later I told them they could do anything they wanted today as long as it was art related....crap, way too open ended, "No Shawn, painting Jo, as creative as it sounds, is not in the books for today." (I had to physically remove the paint from his hands....it would have been funny for like a second until they realized they would have to clean up after).

I AM SO TIRED. and my high schoolers were a surprising breath of fresh air.

side note: I had a 2ed grade girl tell me I 'looked sexy today'....that's weird, right?!

UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH.

NO Mr. Mullet I will not be teaching them math today or ever again. I WILL BE TEACHING THEM ART!!!!! Get that into your head once and for all. There is nowhere in my job description that says I am a Math teacher, and it will never be added!
For the love of all that is good in the world understand this...I. AM. THE. ART. TEACHER. AT. THIS. SCHOOL.
I know this is a hard school to get a grip on, but it's your job to figure it out. You have "been teaching for 25 years" and I have just a few months of teaching as a 'real' teacher, so how am I able to figure this out and you are not?!?!?!?!

Happy Thursday world!

Mr. M and adventures in teaching

and just when I thought things couldn't get any stranger.....

So here it is, Tuesday, the second day of the new middle school teacher, from here on he shall be known as Mr. Mullet (think of the best one you've ever seen and then go a little further....trust me, you won't be disappointed). And for some reason he is under the impression that I am a math teacher as well as an art teacher. Yes it is true that I came in to help the sub with the math class last week, only because she had no idea how to do Algebra. But when I came in on Monday I was under the impression that I would be taking half the class back to the art room while the other half and Mr. Mullet worked on math.....all of this is to give him an easier time (there are 3 different levels of math in the room). Kind of like what we did at Southshire....split it up to make things easier on the teachers and so the kids get more attention. I was fine staying in the classroom on Monday to help out, Mr. Mullet needed that time to see where everyone was, makes sense. What didn't make sense was when he decided to review Algebra with the whole class to "see where you're all at". Great, except for the fact that there are a few students who are 2 years away from Algebra and have NO IDEA WHAT THE SHIT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, AND NO I DON'T WANT TO TEACH THIS PORTION OF THE CLASS! I am here to assist with individuals when needed, only for today!!!
Yes, I know it will be difficult to teach 3 different levels in one classroom, that is exactly why I am supposed to take half of them away! DUH!
Finally, I put my foot down and just told him that I will not be here anymore to help with math, no, there is not other times that I can come in and help (I. AM. THE. ART. TEACHER. and there is no extra money so i will not be giving up my time to make your job easier!! OPEN YOUR FLIPPIN EARS. maybe a little harsh but i don't care at this point), and I would like to start art class on Thursday (which is almost 2 weeks later then expected, so that is 2 weeks of me getting to school 2 hours before I actually have an art class, not fun!).

Yes I know it is hard to wrap your brain around teaching different levels at the same time, but you're at Ryan Academy now, you better get use to it!

And honestly, if you can't figure out how to do middle school math when you have the answer book (with the work done for you) right in front of you, I have no sympathy for you at all. And it's great that you were a drummer in a rock band, but I don't care, help the students instead of telling me how cool it can be to perform I KNOW THAT, REMEMBER THAT TIME 2 SECONDS AGO WHEN I TOLD YOU I WAS AN ACTRESS?!?!?! Yup, I didn't mean I act for myself.

on the bright side there is no school for me tomorrow!!! yippy, day off from the crazy! Loves it!

Middle School

Today was supposed to be my first day of daily Middle School classes, I came to school prepped and ready! Armed with my short list of classroom rules and plenty of energy to pumped these bored kids up. As I am setting out the materials for out first task in walks my boss, J, asking me to instead head to their classroom and help the sub with the math class (apparently neither J or the sub are very good at Pre-Algebra...odd!). So in I walk trying to switch sides of my brain and awaken the knowledge I had so desperately shoved away for fear of a return of the dreaded MATH CLASS FROM HELL...(yes, probably the reason I went into the arts). Well turns out I remember even less then I thoughts. HA. Oops. Thank goodness for the teacher's book. After a moment or two I managed to figure out how to add fractions again....actually not that difficult if you have the answers in front of you.

The best part of doing this was when I walked in and introduced myself, and told them that we would be starting an art class, not next year, but this week, they all perked up! Holy crap another class that actually likes to do art, I am way spoiled here! They are also a little less bold in their misbehaving, which will be a nice break from the mean high schoolers and the screaming lower schoolers.

I wish that the school hadn't put students in my art class who don't want to be there. It really does nothing productive for anyone (well maybe the teachers who are getting a break from them). But seriously they don't work, which makes more work for me, less time on the kids who actually want help, and they are just going to get crappy grades which won't help them graduate (which is why i think some of them are in the class...just for the credits), so they'll just be here for longer, causing trouble because they are bored, angry and stupid. I think it's a dumb idea all around. Arg!

All that being said, my classroom is getting filled with some really cool art work! Something is happening that is working. GO ME!!

just little guys

I had my first elementary school class today, 11 1-3rd graders......there is only one class, i'm not sure where the other grades went but I don't have them!

It was surprisingly fun. They are so easily entertained it's great! AND they actually like art! Wait, hold the phone, I have a class full of people who enjoy what I teach?! I'm not sure how to handle this. Sadly I only have them once a week....hmmm, maybe I could just swap the high schoolers for them?!?!?! Interesting idea, I don't think anyone would notice, right?! They're only 2 feet shorter, that's not much. I mean they listen, quiet down when I ask, and laugh because they are having fun not because someone just got insulted!! I think maybe high schoolers should be locked up in their own space for a few years while we pipe in things to make them grow up to be good, interesting members of society. None of this leaving them to their own devises and hoping....that's just dangerous!

Anyway I think I am going to have a blast with these kids, they are at a point where their creative minds haven't been completely shut down by society, there's still time to pull some fun things out of them!

cut it out.

How do you stop high school students from being mean to each other? I have these two kids who seem to be always at each other(we'll call them C and J), J,the younger one, getting the brunt of the insults. I feel bad for him, but he really is asking for it. J just always bugs the shit out of C and J tells him this without any thoughts of his feelings. The odd thing is despite J looking hurt he doesn't move or sit somewhere else. I tried putting people in assigned seats but somehow the insults and whispers still get to J. And that actually is the problem. These kids have no sense of how even joking about insulting someone is hurtful. Finally today I made all be quite and tried to put and end to it. No more jokin with insults! I don't want the easy-going nature of the class to become an unhappy place. Just because there are very few rules and talking is aloud that doesn't mean you can be mean to people. I don't think they took it in though....in one ear and out the other, or in some cases straight over the head missing the ears completly. Do you have to deposite your ears before entering this school? I mean for serious, get a grip kids.

After my class I told mom that I would take her class if she was late (she went to the dentist to have her mouth ripped apart). Turns out she was 2 whole classes late, leaving me with high schoolers for 2 hours longer then I like. Although I have to say substituting is so much better then actually having to teach something. I think I even got to the point where C is no longer mad at me, we actually have some things in common. So, not a total waste of a class period. And i discovered that not all the kids are as dumb as the ones in my art class....some actually have some interesting things to say and write with some skill. I mean not a huge number, but it gave me hope for the minds of tomorrow.

OH and tomorrow I get my first lower school class!!! ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh shhiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttt someone save me please. what do i do with them....finger painting?! but then there's clean up.

new week, same thing...?!

It's a brand new week, and I'm gearing up to face the kids again. Last week ended on kind of a nice note. We worked on the same still life all week, using 3 different mediums and surprisingly we got a nice little series from everyone. Now let me not get ahead of myself, some people took this much less serious then others, but from two or three of them I got some interesting art (there's my favorite overused Bennington word, every gosh darn thing was interesting at Bennington), and one even asked for my help in! He asked how his picture was and when I said, "hmm, that looks very nice." he said "NO. I don't want the nice answer, really tell me what you think.".....
WOW, pretty cool kid, way to be interested! Now, his picture was actually one of the best, but he asked for my thoughts and so I told him. We had a really nice conversation about how to use watercolor paint, and some helpful tips that I picked up last weekend....(seeing as watercolors have scared me since high school and i haven't used them since then I had to do a little last minute relearning. But to tell you the truth I really like them!). After we talked and I had shown him some examples of how to use the paints I had him try and he improved!! His work took a step away from where he started! I taught someone something they wanted to learn!!
Oh, look, our little Ms. Mollie is all growed up and teaching kids stuff!

SO! Let's hope this week is as productive as last week, I would say more but I don't want to push it....besides I think I am getting the Middle school class this week which means learn a whole new bunch of kids and that's SCARY AS SHIT!!!! Wish me luck!

Snow Day

Do you remember the days when your parent would come into your room and whisper, "there's no school today, you don't have to get up." and then you would have no choice but to get up and do something?! Snow days in elementary school were such a cool time, the one day you didn't have to drag yourself out of bed and face the freezing world, that was all you wanted to do. There were forts to be built, books to be read, snow to be played in, couches to be sat on. I think sometimes I didn't have anything really that I wanted to do, I just didn't want to miss an opportunity to do something other then be in school.
High school though, WHOLE different story. The minute I knew there wasn't school my face was back in my pillows. SLEEPING THE DAY AWAY!!! It would be nice to have the feeling of excitement of a whole day to do just whatever I want.
All of this comes from the fact that we have a snow day today! we got a whopping 2, inches of snow. Yes, hold the presses, stop the trains, alert the president, i repeat
TWO INCHES OF SNOW HAVE FALLEN IN THE NIGHT.
Do not be alarmed, do not panic, all will be well as long as you stay indoors, it will melt away soon, and life will return to normal.

I don't know, the South is crazy. It's just a little snow, really not even enough for a snowman or snowball fight, people really don't even have to shovel their driveways because once the sun hits it the snow melts away. Crazies!

high point of high school!

I remembered one of the perks of high school (well school in general)...SPRING BREAK! And not the Miami, Cancun crazy topless spring break (that would just result in a very uncomfortable burn), but a lovely, possibly chilly Vermont holiday! Yes I will be temporary leaving the South and heading North! I Cannot flipppin' wait!
Yeah, I know it's more then a month away, but really it's nice to have something to look forward to.

.....I wonder if I get paid for that week?! it's not like I have a choice to take that week off....hmmmmm, that could be really nice.

A full week of the wonderful Berkshires and southern Vermont and all that inhabit the area. No students to teach how to hold a pencil, no phones to answer in a calming "spa voice" while silently cringing, just sweet and lovely Vermont air to breath and gin & tonics to be ordered (attn: Mr. Auld).
But for now I must come up with art projects daily to keep these little buggers entertained and from revolting.

half days

Today was a half day, an 11am release, which normally would be cause for jumps of joy, plans with friends, lunch date outside the hideous cafeteria involving something more then a bagel and an iceburg salad. in a word lovely! Now that I am a teacher it means my class starts not at the reasonably timed 10:40 or 11:30, but 8AM! Do you know what that means?! That means getting up before the sun, before the birds and with the rest of the adult population. It means the usually high functioning students (HA) are still waking up and slightly less willing to glue shit together (take your teenage mornings and multiply the laziness by 10, add 1,000,000, divide by 2, add 1,000 and you are half way there).

All I can say is i was done by 9am and could go home....unlike the real teachers who had to stay for four hours of meetings, no thank you. If you want me in a meeting for that long there had better be some Pino Grigo and some damn good artichoke dip (extra dip and bread)! I'm serious, Kathy and I came up with some of our best ideas on the patio at the Freight Yard Pub. We didn't always remember them, and the ones we did maybe we would have been saner if we didn't. But DAMN we were just the most committed and creative partners, some days we'd be there till all hours of the night, working the whole time of course... And we did some pretty cool shit because of those meetings!
tangent over.... just thankful I'm not having to attend the uber boring meeting today (sorry Mom!)

oh, and we're almost all done with the sketch books. every day a new person finishes, although I am finding myself doing a lot of demonstrations on students book.
I'm not sure if they really don't get it, or if there weren't taught how to watch, listen and learn all in the same moment....maybe just one of those?! Whatever it is, some of these kids are like bricks dressed as high schoolers (a little harsh, yes maybe, but, wejfoeirhjfwerhjgsdfkjhbdfa). 'Yes I know the glue for the next step isn't in front of you, and the supply shelf is a whole 4 feet away, and goodness if you aren't so warn out from playing video games all night, oh please, let me just grab that for you, would you like me to feed you doughnuts too?!?!' AHHHHHHHHHHH, HOW THE FREAK DO YOU EXPECT TO FINISH ANYTHING IF YOU JUST SIT THERE AND DO NOTHING?!?!??!?!?!!?!!! ARRRRRGGGGGGG!

All right I feel better, off to my other job with it's own set of frustrating attributes! wish me luck!

maybe it's working?!

I think that I have figured it out. The last few days the students have been at very different points in their projects (very different points), and so when one finished I would just have them move on to something else. Makes sense right?! It Worked! I mean some kids are really behind, but it's art you can't confine them...right?! Really when it comes down to it there isn't any point in holding back kids who actually get work done, not half bad work either, because there are a few slow as molasses students. It's not as if those few even want to be in the class, it's true, I think they just had nowhere else to put them so the school thought "ART CLASS! Indeed, the best place to put apathetic students who have no interest or background in art! PERFECT!"

Anywho, having people at different stages and even different projects gives me more time, surprisingly, to move around and help them. I even had a student, all on his own mind you, help another student who was having trouble! they weren't even sitting next to each other! he got out of his seat walked around the table and helped another student! HOLY SHIT!!!

now I just have to figure out more projects for them to do. ah well, I guess I'll do my job!

clarification....

there seems to be some confusion as to the age that I am teaching. You may think to yourself "must be elementary school with these levels of competence..." well in fact these are high school students. right between middle school and college. YES, the grades 9 to 12. As in a few of these kids are thinking and planning on going off to college next year. hold the phone. for real??!?!

question: if a student cannot measure out 1 1/4 inches on a piece of paper after it has taken him all class to fold it in half twice will the college acceptance letters be flowing in?!

I really don't know how they got this far with so little in their bag of tricks, because their bags are so far from flowing over.

Yikes! I'd be scared to go out into the world with so little to go on. or maybe they really have no idea that, well, they have no idea. I mean I wasn't so keen on academics in high school, and I most certainly would not have gone far on my SAT scores (i didn't even put them on my college apps). But I had commonsense on my side, and there's a lot to be said for that. These kids don't seem to posses that at all. If you can't motivate yourself to at least try in the easiest art class on the planet how in the hell are you going to make it in the world where art class is supposed to be intense?!!? No more art classes for them I bet!

are you playing for real?

It looks as if today I will have to do some assigned seating. I really did not want to do that, and I told them, I don't mind talking as long as work is getting done. not the case! I have these 3 kids who spent the whole class cutting out two rectangles, yes I said 2 the number right after one and before three....two! I had to stop them mid-cut a handful of times and ask...
me - "so. what'cha doing? what are you cutting out now?!"
student - "uhhhhh, a square." (yes, he said square, 3 times.)
me - "oooh, a square, hmm? is that what you are supposed to be cutting...?!" (i know the answer to this one, pick me pick me!)
student - "a rectangle." (very good!)
me - "now how big does it have to be? look on the board if you can't remember, it's written up there in two different places."
.......
student- "I'm confused, I can't find 6 1/4 inches...?!"
me- "????????????"

i'm starting to think maybe these guys are playing me. can they really seem so normal and be so damn slow?! How do you not know where the quarter mark is? or the half for that matter, yes I'm not lying.
the big problem for me is not that they don't know where to find a measurement, I mean it's surprising but people are raised and taught very differently and it's not my place to judge. But for the love of Buddha shut the fuck up and get something done! they can't be having fun sitting there pretending to cut cardboard. I'm bored just looking at them. So i'm going to try sitting people in different places today and see what happen. That's it, i'm going to be that teacher who makes you say goodbye to your friends and sit next to the icky person...dududuuuu! Watch out kids Ms. Mollie (they were having trouble remembering how to fold paper I figured they were never going to get Remillard) isn't all sunshine and smiles, there's a new sheriff in town and she means business.

whhhhhhaaaaatttttt?!

I don't understand high schoolers. I mean I know it's a pretty difficult time of life for most people, it certainly was for me, but honestly pull your shit together. I had to explain to them way too many times that the cardboard they were cutting needed to be 6 1/4 inches wide by 9 inches long (and yes it was written on the board, twice!), even after I made them all put their work down, stop talking and look at me while I showed them what it was supposed to look like. I know it's Friday and all but really it's only 12 and that shit is so simple.

This job is really making me appreciate the Minerva kids, who, mind you, I already thought were pretty huge superstars. I feel like I need a drink and it's only 1pm (yeah, yeah, I know it's always 5 o'clock somewhere, but it still seems a little early... plus I'm not sure the Spa customers would like being checked in by someone nursing a bottle of Tequilla). I'll just wait for Mom to get out of work and drink then, I'm sure she will be needing one then seeing as she has these kids all day long! They may end up driving her batshit crazy by the end of the year, get the padded room ready people this woman is going to need some quiet time! Not sure how she does it, it's an art form all it own.

So in the cliched words of 90's teen tv sitcoms...TGIF! YAYAYAYAYAYAY!

no, those marks you made weren't just for decoration.

So I've made it to the end of the week, YES! It feels somewhat strange due to the fact that we have basically accomplished nothing, wait let me rephrase that, the students have do nothing.
Yesterday it took all class to sew some paper together! I mean REALLY?! When i say "thread the needle through the tack holes that you have made on the crease" you'd think they would understand...oooooohhhh no! I cannot tell you how many kids were stabbing the paper in random spots! ...well that's a bit of a lie, there were 3 different student after 3 different demonstrations (and i mean, i drew in detail directions of the board, showed them the completed step on a book I had partially made just for this occasion, and I actually carried out the step on a brand new one right in front of them! ....i did forget to tell them to put their seeing eyes back in, hmmmm, my fault?).

After class I went to hand in some paperwork at the office, where I found Mr. Boss Man (very nice guy who is super excited to have an art class again for the kids, not sure it is as exciting for the kids as he may think), and as I soon discovered there is a good reason for the random hole poking, and extreme variations in production level. There are no middle round kids here! Where at most high schools you will find a nice rainbow of student ability (ex. Greylock...although a little heavy on the high end!) at this school it's as if a giant lined the students of Norfolk up according to educational ability and then scooped up everyone, leaving only those on the outskirts to fend for themselves and find a school to take them in...enter Ryan Academy...dadadadaaaaa! So it's normal to have to show someone how to fold a piece of paper in half twice, or explain that yes the hole you just made is where you want to sew through, and when I say "unfold the paper, lie it flat on a piece of cardboard and stab it with the tack" i actually mean exactly what i said.

Friday, last day of the school week, last day of my first week as a high school teacher, one more day of me telling the kids how to pronounce my name (okay, just call me Ms. Mollie, but not Ms. Reyo...I'm not even sure where that came from, but no you cannot use it). what do you think will we finish the sketchbooks today..?! HA, no! what a silly question!

it's getting better all the time

Day 2 turns out to be better then the 1st....Micah was right.

But really who would have thought folding paper could be so confusing and time consuming. 45 minutes to fold a stack of paper twice, cut down the middle, and then put into 4 piles (i know, 4 is such a huge, terrifying number)...it could have been the scissors that were made for something more delicate then tissue paper, or maybe the talking, or the fact that they don't listen (yup, i think that's the one). I even drew diagrams on the board of EVERY step in the folding process, although I still not sure they looked at it....even when I was standing in front of it drawing AND explaining how to put one folded paper inside of another (sounds simple, you might be surprised to learn it's even simpler then it sounds).

Despite the t u r t l e s l o w pace we were working at I think things went pretty well. I think as long as I have a project that I can walk them through (well, maybe crawl through like legless goat) I think we should produce some results. They will no doubt be a WIDE spectrum of talent, but hey they are not getting graded on the product.....oh did I mention I have to grade them. Now that is a whole other battle. I hated getting graded and now I have to do the grading?! icky!

I will pull this class over...

Day 1 and I'm still alive!

So high school. Hmm. Still kind of sucks. I made it through the hour class, which actually turned into about 45 mins because the students trickled in. Introduced myself, asked them to do the same..."tell me your name, grade and what you like about art, or what art you have done."
answers I recieved:

"I'm Bob, 12th grade and.....I like art..." ...hmmm okay, anything specific?!

"I'm Tom, I'm in 11th grade and I got put in this class by Mr. Jones, I didn't even know I had this class. I can't draw" ...wow, great. LOVE that enthusiasm!

"I'm Todd, 12th grade, I like art." ...yeah, that answer was already used.

"I'm Jane, i'm in 9th grade and I like to art cuz i got an 'A' in it." ....Toto I don't think we're in Bennington anymore

"Why do you keep saying that? you said it like 5 times" ...wait! this isn't an answer you say, I was thinking that same thing...I love when kids don't pay attention right after I tell them not to talk over or under other people! Ugh!

So the answers were pretty bleak, as was the interest in....anything. But when we got down to drawing their names (and I mean just your basic "I would like you to draw your name with some relationship to something you like" kind of deal.) things TOTALLY CHANGED! Just kidding! Yes there were a few kids who actually had some talent, some who used their imaginations (yippy) and a handful who couldn't even figure out how to write their names in even an uninteresting way. So I proceed to show them what block lettering is, or bubble letters, draw a shape and make your name fit inside that shape. It was a little like pulling teeth, now I know why I didn't become a dentist.

And here I was worrying that I wouldn't have enough for them to do on the first day....turns out I think this sketchbook creating project may take all week, not just a day! SAWEET! no need to use my brain. Loves it!

I think this is going to take some getting use to and if all else fails I'm pulling out the improv games! I swear I'll do it! I will pull this class over and make you pretend! someone better warn those kids what could happen.

Holiday! Celebrate!

So here we are, Sunday night, the big night, the night before my debut as an Art teacher. I've spent most of the day trying to create my own graffiti name tag so the kids will have some sort of reference to look at and so I don't have to make a fool out of myself as I struggle to create something artisticly advanced (I even have Zoe doing the project so they can see different styles). I still haven't figured out what to make mine look like....but don't worry I have the process documented very well, these kids will have not problem learning what throw away test sketches are!

I have also spent most of the day trying to figure out how to keep these kids entertained for 1 hour 5 times a week! Ohhhhhhcrap! I'm sure once I get there and settle in it will be fine, but really this waiting shit really sucks. And so I have made myself prepare, and I mean really prepare, not just half assing it like I sometimes end up doing with theater (the finished product always looks good...right?!?! ooo, don't tell Kathy this :) coming in and realizing that I have 45 minutes where I have nothing to do. I have to, because with visual art it is going to be much more difficult to pull activities out of ...well....you know where... Really only because it's been awhile and I feel much more comfortable when I can jump around and play improv games. wait, are there visual art improv games.....hmmmm?

So prep must happen or Ms Remillard looks like an ass! and I would want to use those look like an ass times up in the first week.

Finally got out of my 'sit on my bum job', walked home (tried to get the stench of Lillies out of my nose, throat, glands, head, face, and everywhere else it could sneak...i feel like shit. THANK YOU STUPID DEATH FLOWERS), sat down to plan my day tomorrow! Figured "HEY, this school doesn't have many supplies, so why don't we make our own sketchbook?! that way when the kids get bored of what they are doing, or they finish early, or what have you they can open up their hand homemade sketchbook and draw some shit!" Brilliant (cousin Emma agrees, she's in high school so I listened to her!), thank you very much! so i google homemade sketchbooks, find a pretty sweet design (with photo instructions, YIPPY), and get to work on making my own...once again trying to avoid looking like an ass on day 1.

mid-sketchbook, phone rings, it's the newly dubbed grandmother calling
Gran-"so Zoe seems to think that you think we have school tomorrow!"
Me- "yeah....Monday, school!"
Gran- "but it's MLK."
(I knew this and had thought it strange we didn't get that day off, seeing as it is a national holiday....and I hadn't thought Norfolk was the kind of place to ignore it)
Me- "i know, but Jerry kept saying 'i'll see you on Monday' 'we'll take care of that on Monday' etc. but i'll check it out online."

Oh hey turns out my first day as an art teacher is a DAY OFF!!!
what?! sweet!
that means more time for me to prep to not look like a jerk in front a group of people in the age range that specialize in the art of gossip and ridicule. I'd say that's a win for me.
Maybe it was even good that I didn't figure this out until 8pm the night before. Hey, I'm down, now I'll have time to make my sketchbook 20 times better then theirs will ever be! (insert evil laugh)

oh and hopefully by Tuesday my throat won't feel like it's been attacked by Lillies and their army of pollen (GO NAVY!). I still feel like crapolla.

Crayola for Days

So I went in today to check out my room, yes i have a whole room to teach in. Not kidding. No one kicking me out to do awards ceremonies, no one sending me to the lunch room to sit on the dirty floor and work, just me, my room and the teacher next door yelling at her crazies!
OKay back to the point, time comes to check out the supplies they already have so I know what I can actually do with these kids.
We have: buckets of markers (which i hate), loads construction paper (which is only good for making crappy Valentines), some crayons (all broken of course....really have you ever seen a crayon last more then a minute out of the box as a whole crayon?! I'm not sure I have), watercolor paint (the kind your parent buys you as a 2 year old, i think Monet actually started with Crayola watercolors), a few boxes of pastels (those actually will be nice to have), tiny pots of acrylic paint (i think used by the Borrowers to paint their walls), and random who's who of the art supply world.

So it's Thursday night and I have until Monday at 11:40 to come up with a plan for the week. something to teach these 12 kids, who may or may not know what pastels are...

I have a plan I just need to figure out how it will all fit together....got to make my brain function like real person now. Awwcrap!

Question:
what was your favorite project in High school (or middle school...actually any school) art class?

Art

starting a new chapter of life...well a new part of a new chapter. more like a new chapter in a new volume of the library that is my life. oh god shut up!

anyway, i am going to be starting a new job as a high school art teacher on Monday and it's kind of making my brain hurt thinking about it. I mean I have worked with kids, well, since I was a kid...taught kids since high school, and even study how to teach them while in college. and then right after college i went into teaching. but none of this involved teaching visual arts. i have done visual arts, well, forever really, but studied them since high school and minored in them (as much as you can minor in anything at Bennington College) in college. So really when you look at it everything seems to be in place to make this a pretty perfect situation...except for the fact that I am now going to have to recall all that shit my teachers tried to teach me while i was doodling or daydreaming (i'm very good at that!) and teach it to a bunch of kids who will be doing the same thing......hmmmm. at least i won't be sitting on my butt in front of a computer all day doing NOTHING.

one problem i am having is i really can't stand when i run into people who just want to talk about how the feel about art and how it effects the world. i have the same problem with theater. i love it but for the love of Buddha when people start talking about it in deep conversations i just want to punch things.

...so i am searching the internet for things to teach these kids and searching my brain for things I learned in high school. and i really tried to block most of high school out, so i'm coming up short.