are you playing for real?

It looks as if today I will have to do some assigned seating. I really did not want to do that, and I told them, I don't mind talking as long as work is getting done. not the case! I have these 3 kids who spent the whole class cutting out two rectangles, yes I said 2 the number right after one and before three....two! I had to stop them mid-cut a handful of times and ask...
me - "so. what'cha doing? what are you cutting out now?!"
student - "uhhhhh, a square." (yes, he said square, 3 times.)
me - "oooh, a square, hmm? is that what you are supposed to be cutting...?!" (i know the answer to this one, pick me pick me!)
student - "a rectangle." (very good!)
me - "now how big does it have to be? look on the board if you can't remember, it's written up there in two different places."
.......
student- "I'm confused, I can't find 6 1/4 inches...?!"
me- "????????????"

i'm starting to think maybe these guys are playing me. can they really seem so normal and be so damn slow?! How do you not know where the quarter mark is? or the half for that matter, yes I'm not lying.
the big problem for me is not that they don't know where to find a measurement, I mean it's surprising but people are raised and taught very differently and it's not my place to judge. But for the love of Buddha shut the fuck up and get something done! they can't be having fun sitting there pretending to cut cardboard. I'm bored just looking at them. So i'm going to try sitting people in different places today and see what happen. That's it, i'm going to be that teacher who makes you say goodbye to your friends and sit next to the icky person...dududuuuu! Watch out kids Ms. Mollie (they were having trouble remembering how to fold paper I figured they were never going to get Remillard) isn't all sunshine and smiles, there's a new sheriff in town and she means business.